


Reviews

by Cryllia



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Drabble, Food Porn, Gen, Restaurants, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 19:52:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3822733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryllia/pseuds/Cryllia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new "restaurant" has opened in Skyhold.  The reviews are in.</p><p>AKA: Why you shouldn't run with ideas that come to you at 3am.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ★★★★★ – Reviewer: FH

Restaurant was well maintained and staff was surprisingly knowledgeable. What they did not know they were willing to learn. Chef was very flexible to my needs, but willing to take charge and not change a plate overmuch, so that it lost itself. Waiters were not pushy and allowed me time to consider my decisions carefully before making my choices. Dessert was especially excellent – honey flavored cream was homemade and very sweet with just the right amount of tang. I would definitely dine here again if given the opportunity; sadly I expect to be out of town for quite some time.


	2. ★★★ - Reviewer: CrazyElfChick.Com

It was good, ya? And the staff was fun and all, but, idunno, it seemed like they paid a bit too much attention to me because I was an elf and not because I was me, which is shite. It was good food though! And once they caught on the chef did some really funny things! You should have seen what they sent to the guy next to me with the huge mustache! Also my dessert totally said ‘Eat Me’ on the side which is hilarious because it was a chocolate taco so it looked like a… right, done now.


	3. ★ - Reviewer: The Tevinter Times

While I am quite sure that such food is up to the standards of some people, it simply wasn’t for me. Nothing I can point to directly, mind you, just not to my tastes at all. And the actual atmosphere of the place was simply atrocious. I don’t know who their interior decorator was or what they were going for, but it failed to say ‘delicious food here’ and ‘please come again’ and rather more ‘I’m trying too hard to appeal to everyone, look at me!’ The owner should seriously consider looking into that as soon as they are able.


	4. ★★ - Reviewer: Proper Party Planners

When introduced to the place, I had high hopes, but they were quickly dashed once I stepped inside. I hoped for an intimate gathering with small plates – everything laid out perfectly. Instead what I got was a smorgasbord of food from every region. The menu was messy, as if it didn’t quite know what kind of restaurant it was trying to be yet and had far too many choices. The drink selection was quite excellent however, so if you’re looking for a place to go for fancy cocktails to relax and discuss your day with a friend, this is it.


	5. ★★★★ - Reviewer: DreadKnots

This place has me tied in knots. The Chef of this place understands pacing in their food – when it should be hot and spicy and when it should be calming and creamy. Even so, if you want something changed, the chef is quick to obey your every command. They make your mouth a wonderland theme-park from around the world – you never know where it will go next! It has you on the edge of your seat in anticipation of what the next dish will be, because the only thing you know is that it’s going to be so very good.


	6. ★ - Reviewer: Seeking Good Taste (SkyholdTV, 9pm)

I’ve seen the reviews and I simply do not understand the appeal. It is a small and underutilized space. I’m quite sure that many of the dishes are stolen straight out of Joy of Eating Out by Tethras. Worse I had to go to the staff, rather than them coming to me whenever I wanted something. I was hoping the staff would understand my needs better, such as when I needed a refill on my drink, but apparently they did not. I am sorry to report that I cannot say that I am impressed in any way by this establishment.


	7. ★★★ - Reviewer: Blackened Wally

A surprise is hidden away in the recesses of Skyhold for anyone willing to look – but buyer beware! Although the food and service here is excellent I am not convinced that the means by which this restaurant receives its stores is on the strict up-and-up. More than once I have seen figures creeping about the kitchen area in the middle of the night, leading this reviewer to wonder what exactly it is we’re eating that’s so very tasty – and whether or not it’s legal in most countries. But perhaps that bit of danger is exactly what you desire when dining?


	8. ★★★★★ - Reviewer: The Ferelden Lion

Elegant. Soft Spoken. Heated. Surprising. All of these words can be used to describe either the newest restaurant in Skyhold or the hard working Chef who makes the magic within happen. Pay no attention to the detractors – they are merely jealous. If one asks in advance you can get a private dinner with the Chef who will prepare for you a meal unlike any you have every had the pleasure of tasting before, each course better than the next culminating in a penultimate dessert that will leaving you breathless and begging to do it again, no matter the personal cost.


End file.
